I was expecting a rejection, you know. I mean, their guidelines say they will reject anything you send, and point out the advantages of knowing in advance what the outcome will be: reduced stress, no need to spend hours on your cover letter (which, you know, I do), and not least of all the satisfaction of knowing that you were rejected from one the most exclusive journals in the -- any -- industry.
Wow! With all those advantages, I just had to submit. So I sent in a short I have called "Done" -- something of an experiment because it is comprised entirely of dialog (yes, I am that good) -- and waited (breathlessly) for my rejection letter, which I assumed would be arriving nearly immediately.
For the first time in my life, a rejection to my story was not only assured but eagerly awaited. This time -- for sure -- I'd get exactly what I'd hoped for.
Thank you for your interest in the Journal of Universal Rejection.
Due to the high volume of correspondence we have received of late, it
may be some time until yours is properly answered. If you have
included a submission, rest assured that it has been filed and is
under review. We will get back to you as soon as possible.
-- Caleb Emmons, PhD Editor-in-Chief Journal of Universal Rejection