Dear Dr. Emmons:
It is likewise always a pleasure to nearly hit my target. I dare say I'm getting quite good at it.
Please find (below; really, it's not that hard to find) my rewrite as per your thoughtful and insightful rewrite suggestions. As is so often the case, I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your feedback.
The Story: Once upon a time there was a fishmonger named Mollie. Some stuff with fish happened. It was intense. It's over now. The end.